Diary of a Pregnant Girl: Count 'Em Up

February 10, 2011

Diary of a Pregnant Girl: Count 'Em Up

This week has been the hardest yet for me. It started with KP's parents in for the weekend. While they were here, we cleaned out our basement and went through every box, reorganizing, purging and repacking. I went though old family pictures and what I call my mother's keepsake box. It was very emotional as I parted with were her hats (I thought for sure, someone else could get some use of them) and found my baby book. I wish she was here to share this with me. Upon KP's parents departure, I felt more lonely as they are the closest family we have to where we live. I didn't want to say goodbye. It was difficult and I never expected to feel that way. All those feelings, came crashing in when I got my mysterious prank call from Creepy McCreeperson. This week, whether they know it or not, I have relied greatly on my husband, friends and phone calls/emails from my family to cheer me up. Lunches with girlfriends, talking about baby showers and long walks have greatly improved my attitude. It was easy to realize then that even in the midst of a major life change and emotional madness, there are reasons to count your blessings and worry less.

Concerns, odd reactions and confusion over doing what is ‘right’ are overpowered by the feeling of excitement as I enter a selfless stage in my life. My sole focus is someone I get to help form into a person – from start until they are at least 18 years old. For most, that seems like an eternity, but for me it seems to already be going by too fast. If you think of it this way, this time next year, I will have a 9 month old on my hands. For that reason, I am finding time to actually enjoy this pregnancy.

I have eaten healthier than I ever have. Although, the outcome isn’t weight loss like it had always been in the past, I feel accomplished seeing the pounds slowly add on the scale. I know my little man, who was once the size of a poppy seed, is still growing and developing. And seriously, what is cuter than a cubby baby?

I don’t care that I will gain weight, worry I might develop dreaded stretch marks or the fact that my life will never be the same. These things are pretty much predetermined when you enter pregnancy and worth the sacrifice. I care more about making time to sustain a loving marriage, if I will be a good parent – like my own, and trying to prepare for parenthood as much as possible along the way.

At the end of the day as struggle to climb into bed and after it takes me an hour to get comfortable, I close my eyes to say my prayers. I think about the person I was just months ago. How I have changed from being a traveling, concert going, food and beverage loving person, to a “can I take this, eat this or drink this”, make sure my seatbelt is located in the right spot when I buckle up, wondering if my belly button is going to pop out and possibly return to normal, kind of person. I pray about how thankful I am for my supportive husband, who will love me after the battle this over, my amazing family and friends who have taken care of me though my journey, and devote most of my prayer time to little person that is tickling the inside of my belly as he gets ready for bed too...

Blessings counted.