Diary of a Pregnant Girl: Normal Smormal

Normal. That’s a general word if we have ever heard one. When it comes to being a parent, is there ever really such a thing? And in pregnancy, the best and worst thing you can hear is, “Well, because we can’t find anything wrong, per se, we will consider that ‘normal for you’.” Geez, thanks, that is comforting to know.

That is when a million questions start to flood your brain. Out of all the books I have read, why didn’t anyone mention these things? Someone could have warned me that during a severe cold, when you can’t take anything and you're the walking dead, that when you sneeze, you pee a little. What? That didn’t happen to you? Must just be ‘normal to me’. (By the way, I call that the sneaker-leaker :)

For this blog, I have decided to enlist the help of my friends. My avid readers who are veterans of the labor war willing to share their candid stories. Maybe their insight will help the rest of us thinking, wtf is happening to our bodies, are we losing our minds, how do you think I could get this guy to look at my face while talking to me next time, or why didn’t someone tell me this was going to happen?

The stories here are from women and men from all over the United States and beyond. They are parents, step parents and single parents and they were asked two questions:

1) What was the strangest thing that happened, physically, mentally or socially during your pregnancy. [If they were a Step parent or a Daddy, they were asked, what is the one thing no one ever told you was going to happen being a parent that you want to tell someone else?]

2) What is one piece of advice you would like to give from either your pregnancy or early parenthood?

Take this advice as you you will - it’s free; however, it is sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking.

So, share this blog with friends who are expecting, those who are new moms and dads and those thinking of taking that first step into becoming a parent. The things we can agree on are we are all a little abnormal but we are not alone and we all love our kiddos, even the ones in the oven. A little bit of information can go a long way.

Here’s to kicking the normal idea of normalcy right out the door.

Mandy from Alabama - Mother of Madeline, age 2

1) I can't really recall anything strange, I had a pretty normal pregnancy. But, I do remember being amazed at how big you get SO FAST! And there is nothing like feeling your baby move for the first time. I had two miscarriages before Madeline, so feeling her move for the first time was the sweetest moment I will always treasure.

2) Advice? Take PLENTY of pictures and videos of your child when he/she is a still a newborn. Those days go by so quick. You won't believe how easy it is to forget when they are that little.

K-n-K from Oklahoma - Mother of twins, ages 6 weeks

1) Physically, I had pains that shot from the middle of my back up both sides of my head. I could tell specifically that it stopped at both ear lobes.

2) Don't let anyone make u feel like u don't know what u r doing, even though they have already raised kids, they were a new mom once too!! Take the advice but remember times change and so does the way things are thought and what doctors know.

Oh ya and epidurals are your best friend. Even though I didn't have one, I have seen them work wonders and make labor/birth more enjoyable. Don't believe all horror stories you hear. There are way more good outcomes than bad.

Jennie from Oklahoma - Mother of three, ages 12, 10 and 8

1) Ahhh....my 3rd child put my body through hell. With Bryce, my 8 yr old, my thyroid went haywire, I developed sleep apnea, and a month prior to delivery my right hip popped out of place. When that happened, I put a whole new spin on wobble!

2) Advice...I know it sounds cliche, but cherish every little moment. My "babies" are not babies anymore and it went by way to fast!!

Kiley from Oklahoma - Step mother of one - age 4

I think the best advice I could give-is for a full time mom, and full family all the time-NEVER take that for granted!!! Remember and cherish the simple moments- teaching ABC's, reading before going to bed...because for some of us, we only get those moments every other weekend! And one weekend they can't walk, the next time they can, and you didn't get to teach them. So remember how lucky your are to have those moments every day!

Randa Sue from Missouri, Mother of one, age 14 months

1) The strangest thing that happened to me had to be physically when my water broke. They induced me on Thursday night and I wasn't making any progress by Friday afternoon, so they sent me home and told me nothing would happen that weekend, and to come back in on Monday night to try again. So, we went to Walmart and out to eat, then went home to get some rest. As I was laying in my recliner at around 9 pm, I thought I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom and nothing.....this happened a couple more times and I was getting very frustrated. All the sudden right around 10, my recliner got soaking wet. I knew exactly what had happened, so I got up and it just soaked my entire pant legs!! I went to the bathroom to change clothes, and it just kept coming out. Nobody told me that this would happen. I thought once it broke, that was it!! No, I felt like I peed my pants every couple minutes until I delivered at almost 1:00 that next afternoon!! So, for those of you who don't know.....the water will continue to come out. Be prepared for a lot of towel changing that the nurses will do under your bare butt while waiting for the delivery!!

2) My piece of advice for a mommy-to-be would be to just relax and enjoy every moment. I was so stressed about what bottles to get, what diapers to buy, what clothes I should put her in.....let's face it, I was stressed about everything that could go wrong, and in the end, its ok to make mistakes. Learn from them and go on. Your motherly instinct will kick in immediately!! Mine did, and I would have swore that I had no motherly instincts!! I was a nervous wreck, and it just made me miss the little things that she was doing. So, relax and everything will be ok....I promise!!!!

Blue Eyes from Iowa - Mother of one, age 6 1/2 months

1) One of the strangest things that happened to me during my pregnancy was all of the strangers giving advice, wanting to tell me about their kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc, and wanting to touch my belly and guess how far along I was. It was strange to have these people I didn't even know wanting to tell me their life stories and take such an interest in mine.

2) Take any help that is offered - whether it be someone cooking for you, sitting with the baby while you sleep for an hour or just someone to talk to. The first few weeks are tough, but totally worth it!

Buddy Kids from Oklahoma - Mother of two, ages 2 years and 2 months

1) The dreams... I was constantly thinking something was crawling on me whether it be bugs or spiders. It was crazy!

2) Nurse all long as you can!! I gave up with Reagan after about 6 weeks. It wasn’t 2 weeks after I quit she was sick with a ear infection and she has been sick with an ear infection about every 6 week since. NO LIE! It is proven that breastfed babies are healthier. I am still nursing Luke. I love it! My goal is until 10 months. That is when the pediatrician wants me to put them on whole milk. Plus it helps you lose weight! I have lost the 20lbs I gained with Luke plus an extra 10lbs.

KDK from Oklahoma - Mother of two, ages 7 and 5

1) I have to say the strangest thing about being pregnant was the fact that I actually was pregnant. I had been told my entire life that I would never be able to have children, due to my diabetes, a severely tilted uterus, and horrible endometriosis, the odds were near to impossible for me to get pregnant. However 7 years and 2 kids later I think I've succeeded in proving the doctors wrong!

During my first pregnancy I went through some social struggles, you know I was the princess of parties. I went from drinks to diapers and parties to poop!

2) My parenthood advice is to just go with it. Parenthood is like a roller coaster and as you go through this roller coaster of life remember to: scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loops, and enjoy every twist and turn.

MDDB from Oklahoma - Mother of one, age 21 months

1) I have to say that "mommy brain" is real! I lost my memory and it still has not came back.

2) Hold the baby all the time! He will grow so fast and the hours of cuddle time will be minutes.

Trevor from Texas- Daddy of one, age one month

1) Girls can and will pee upwards at you while changing diapers just like boys will. Even if it is just due to the Diaper Rash cream causing it to spray everywhere.

2) Everyone always told me not to hold the baby very much when they are little because that makes them get used to it and then its hard to break them of that. I say screw that (rephrase if needed) hold them whenever you want for as long as you want. Especially if you are a working parent. Once you go back to work it will drive you nuts not being able to hold them when you want.

Kathy from Kansas - Mother of five, ages 32,29,27,25 and 19

1) The strangest thing for me was when I was pregnant with Emily, she is almost 20 now. With all of my 5 children I got really sick about 6 weeks into the pregnancy and usually lost about 10 to 12 pounds the first couple of months. I didn’t start gaining until after my first trimester and the morning noon and night sickness was over. However with Emily, I started out the same way, being sick about 6 weeks along, could not keep anything down, but then I somehow figured out that if I always had something in my mouth, candy, sun flower seeds, gum, I did not get sick as much and therefore did not lose the regular 10 to 12 pounds, instead I gained weight. Consequently she was about two weeks over due and weighed 9 pounds 4 oz when she was born. My other children weighed in at 6 1/2 pounds, 7 pounds, 6 pounds 13 1/2 oz., and 5 1/2 pounds.

Aside from that I can remember the first time I felt my oldest daughter kick. Sara used to get the hiccups the minute I would lay down. Chris was my smallest when born and he literally had no butt, I thought there was something wrong with him the first time I changed his diaper. I was not sure I was in labor with Jesse, because it would start and stop, that went on for two days before I finally went to hospital. My water didn’t break with Laurie or Jesse, they had to break my water. But with the other three my water broke when i was either coughing or sneezing. Chris was so little when he was born that the doctor did not have time to put on his gloves or shoe protectors, Chris just popped out and the docs shoes were a disaster. Both Sara and Jesse were breach babies. We didn’t know that with Jesse until we got to the hospital, but I still had him the old fashioned way even though he came out butt first. With Sara we knew she was, but I had her vaginally also, with no complications.

2) The advice I have for mommies to be is to spend as much time as you can with your children. The housework, dishes whatever will wait. My house was often not picked up, but looking back I am glad I spent that time with my kids. We spent a lot of time at the park, or exploring.

When I had Christopher, my mother and father in law watched Jesse and Sara for about a week and half. Sara was 20 months old and I had not attempted to potty train her yet. But my mother in law had other ideas. As soon as she got them to her house she started potty training Sara, or trying. Sara is very stubborn and did not like having to sit on the stool until she went, so she just didn’t go until she got off. When I got her back I stopped the potty training as it was clear we were getting no where. Sara was about 2 yrs 2 months when I again tried to potty train, she was less then thrilled. I would put her on the potty chair and she would sit there for quite awhile and when I would tell her she could get up, she would come to me, stand right in front of me and pee. She was all about control. I remember I was not happy the first time she did that. Now I just laugh.

I remember shortly after we brought Sara home from the hospital, I was nursing her and Jesse who was 2 year and 3 months and he decided he wanted to nurse his stuffed animal. So he would sit on the rocking chair next to me and pretend to nurse his stuffed animal. His father was less then thrilled, but it was cute. I could go on and on, but will stop here. This was fun.

Katelyn from Georgia - Mother of one, age 2 months

1) Physical: My once "innie" belly button started to stick out around 18 weeks. By the time I reached the end of my pregnancy, it looked like I had grown an extra finger - on my belly. One night after a visit with my family, my sister called me to tell me that my three year old niece asked God to help me and my belly button during her nightly prayers. She said that my belly button sticks out really far and asked for it to go back to normal soon. My three year old niece was not only thrilled to meet her baby cousin, but relieved that my belly button had returned to its normal state.

Mental: Very rarely did I have hormonal moments during my pregnancy. But, when it happened, it was embarrassing. I tried very hard to eat right while pregnant. I made sure I got my three fruits and my three veggies every day. One Friday night, after a long week of work, I came home and simply didn't feel like cooking. My husband suggested we go to Zaxby's (a fried chicken and wing place). I reluctantly agreed - but, I needed to eat a vegetable other than french fries to round out my 3 for the day. I figured I would order a side of coleslaw. I placed my order and sat down to wait to for my food. When our food came out, there was no coleslaw on the tray. I pointed it out to my husband, who without asking got up to go retrieve it. He came back with no coleslaw in hand. They had run out. Before I knew what was happening, tears were streaming down my face. I got so upset! My husband was looking at me like I had lost my mind, which made me cry even more. The girl that took our order felt so bad that I was crying, she brought me a plate of carrots and celery that they give out to go with the wings. Looking back, I feel ridiculous. But, my baby sure is healthy!

2) My advice is for those intending to breastfeed. First, buy a nipple shield. In fact, buy two. The lactation consultant will tell you not to use them. But, on day three or four when your nipples feel like they have gone through a meat grinder, it will be the only thing that can save you. Don't use the nipple shield every time you nurse, only when the thought of nursing makes you want to run and hide. It will give your poor nipples a break and give them a few hours to heal. Second, do NOT get in the shower without applying lanolin to your nipples first. On the rare occasion that you are able to take a shower, you should be able to enjoy it. The lanolin will provide a water barrier for your very sore and raw nipples. Otherwise, your shower will feel like Chinese water torture - times 10!

Suzanne from Texas - Mother of two, ages 3 and 18 months

1) The strangest thing that happened was when I experienced panic attacks and couldn't even sleep during my second pregnancy. Every time I would fall asleep I would jerk awake in panic mode! Horrible feeling...

2) Be VERY excited about the actual delivery and hospital stay. It is the coolest experience you will ever have. Cherish every moment! Don't be scared what so ever...I would have a million babies just to experience that part again.

Samm from Oklahoma - Mother of one, age 7

1) Nothing too strange happened during my pregnancy except all the physical changes that happens to your body; edema, easily exerted, etc. I had pregnancy induced carpal tunnel from the edema even.

2) My advice would definitely be: get your rest. You will be up all night with the baby, so when the baby sleeps, mommy should sleep. :)

Carrie from Washington - Mother of one, age 3 and one in the oven

1) The strongest feeling I had during pregnancy was that of inner peace. I just loved the feeling of this little life growing inside of me & the serenity it gave my inner soul. When I had Everett 7wks early & I saw how much he was struggling outside of me, it took everything I had to not ask the nurses to just put him back inside of me!

2) My advice to Mommies-to-be is to sleep! I never valued sleep until after I had Everett. It took 2yrs before I got a good solid night of sleep. Now, pregnant with #2, I am taking a two hour nap with Everett & getting 8-10hrs of sleep at night... embrace it while you can!

Skelton Clan from Oklahoma, Mother of two, ages 2 and 1

1) This story was from my first pregnancy with Tate. I was about done with the pregnancy and I was so eager to meet and have my new baby boy. I have had an additional baby since Tate, but for some reason that first one is always a long process. I was one week away from my due date and I was looking and praying for all the signs of pre-labor or just labor. I wanted to be done being pregnant; I was miserable, huge and was dying to be finished with all the waiting and anxiety. So I got up and showered for work. I was about to walk out the door and felt something strange, I took a moment, and realized that there was a small chance that my water just broke, but I was unsure. I’d never experienced my “water breaking”. I had so many questions, is it a lot? Does it continue throughout the day? Had it happened in the shower and I just missed it? I even went into our bedroom and told James about it and he wasn’t sure what had happened. So I went ahead and went into work. For most of the morning I kept thinking maybe this was it, I was going to have my baby. I called my doctor and explained the whole shower thing and that strange leakage I had experienced. Of course, over the phone they could not determine whether or not I was going in to labor so they said to go ahead and come to the clinic. At this time in my life I was teaching, HIGH SCHOOL, so it wasn’t easy to just leave work, plus I was hugely pregnant and everyone knew that at any moment, a baby would come walking out. So any sudden move from me would not go unnoticed or quietly. I rushed into the principle’s office and said with totally glee and excitement, “This may be it!” He got excited, jumped up and started to help me to the car. He said he would take care of the sub and to report anything that happens. I got in my car, headed to Guymon because I worked in Texhoma. I called James and told him what the doctor had said and he was completely calm and said that he would meet me at the clinic. I also called my mom, who was more anxious than I was. She was on the verge to flee to hospital if need be.

This was it, the moment we all had been waiting for. For months and months we had been so excited to meet our baby, and this might be the actual day to which it happens. I went in to my room and the doctor did an examination to determine if it was actually starting, and took a minute or two, or what seemed like 45 minutes. I knew he would just pop up from the covers and say, “Today you will meet your baby boy, go check in at the hospital!” but instead, he slowly stood to his feet and took a deep breath and said, “Well Lindsay, looks like you might…of…peed….your …um…pants.” What!?!?!?! I peed? No baby? No labor? Just questionable bladder control? He assured me that the time had not come and that it was best to wait until my body was naturally ready. He explained that sometimes, because the baby runs out of room during the finally months of pregnancy, that they can roll over the bladder, even kick the bladder to where the mother with accidentally wet herself!! How wonderful, not only was I not having my baby, I had to explain to everyone, my boss, my mom and what felt like the whole world that I just wet my pants, like a 2 year old. Now that I look back, it was really humorous. Tate did finally arrive about 9 days after that. He was beautiful and such a wonderful blessing. He was worth wetting myself, even as an adult!2) My sister-in-law told me this when I found out I was pregnant with Tate, she said, "Nothing ever goes like you think it's gonna go, good or bad!" And it's true, if you expect it to be a certain way, than you will be disappointed, things happen, wonderful things, scary things-but if you learn that you have no control of "how" things will turn out, you will be fine. That's true in pregnancy and parenthood.

2) My sister-in-law told me this when I found out I was pregnant with Tate, she said, "Nothing ever goes like you think it's gonna go, good or bad!" And it's true, if you expect it to be a certain way, than you will be disappointed, things happen, wonderful things, scary things-but if you learn that you have no control of "how" things will turn out, you will be fine. That's true in pregnancy and parenthood.

Christina from Texas - Mother of one, age 8

1) The absolute strangest thing was in the third trimester. Actually seeing baby move when you are just lying still, so weird but so cool!

2) The best advice is enjoy milestones instead of wishing for the next one to come. Once they start walking and talking they will never stop and just be your baby anymore.

DITK from Amsterdam, Holland - Mother of two, ages 4 and 5 years

1) In the midst of labor, and at one of the finest hospitals in Houston, we were sent to walk around for an hour. As we walked out to the main corridor (did I mention at one of the nicest hospitals?), we see movement on the railing of the escalator. As we near, we see it is a giant rat running up the railing. We called the security guard, who called maintenance, and then proceeded to watch them attempt to catch the rat until labor progressed to the point of return to the maternity ward. Gross.

2) From the best book ever ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" - which my husband called "Sleepy Baby, Happy Mommy"), you would never skip a baby's meal to go shopping, errands, etc, and as such, you should treat sleep times the same.

Tiff from Oklahoma - Mother of two, ages 29 months and 5 months

1) It all began at 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I went to bed with a super headache, was up all night taking tylenol until 5am and nothing would take it away! I was nauseated, and every time my heart beat my head would feel like it was going to explode! So I decided to give my dr. a call! He just happened to be on call that day at Stillwater hospital! He suggested I come in! At this point in our lives we were in the process of building a house in Pawnee and moving from OKC! On this day we were in OKC. We had an hour drive. I puked the entire way in a Eskimo Joe's cup! YUM!

We arrived, got checked out, and the dr. informed me that my blood pressure was 190 when it is normally 110! Not good! He said we are going to have this baby today! My husband, Joe was like in a few hours and he said no now I have already assembled the team! The dr. said you have preclampsyia and the only thing to make the symptoms go away is delivery! I wanted so badly to have a natural delivery, I mean I was already dilated to a 3 and completely effaced! Let's just say that dream was shattered! I went into the hospital at 8am and my sweet Reece was born at 2:20pm via c-section! It was like magic the minute he was yanked out every symptom I had related to preclampsyia was gone! Just like that! I got to see my little red head for a few minutes before they wisked him away! It was 5 hours later before I even got to hold him! I had to be wheeled into the nursery and see my sweet baby with an IV and on oxygen! Apparently he would just quit breathing every couple of minutes and Stillwater hospital was not prepared for that! So not even an hour later Reece took his first helicopter ride to OU medical Center! By the way we drove right by that hospital on the way to Stillwater. We should have just pulled in there to begin with! Reece rode in the helicopter, my husband followed in car, and I had to spend the night by myself in the hospital. Now that was horrible because every ounce of me wanted to just walk out of there and go be with my little guy! I talked the dr. in letting me go home the very next day and my dad drove me straight to the hospital where we spent the next 11 days. Once he arrived at OU med. he never had any of the problems he had at Stillwater again! It just took him a awhile to figure out how to suck, swallow, breath when eating! Finally on Sept. 27th Reece Parker Higgins got to come home! This experience was the worst thing I have had to go through in my short 30 years on earth! I could not have gotten through this time without God, my bible, and my precious family! God blessed us throughout this whole time with excellent drs. and nurses. And loads of favor! Now that my fiery red head is 29mo. old you would never ever know that he spent the first 11 days of his life in the NICU! God is sooo good!

2) Take time each day to just enjoy your little ones because they grow so fast! On a side note when you are 8 1/2 months pregnant you probably should not be on your hands and knees grouting your tile floor! Because the next day you may go into labor a little early! Take it easy when you are pregnant and just enjoy getting to be bigger than you are normally. You are doing the most important job you will have in life, growing your sweet baby!

Liz from Kansas- Mother of two

1) This one falls under the Mental category. I sent my husband out to get me biscuits and gravy from McDonald's. This was during my first pregnancy. He came home with biscuits and gravy, but no hash brown or Dr. Pepper. I flipped out telling him everyone knows that biscuits and gravy come with a hash brown and Dr. Pepper. How could he not know this. Needless to say, he went back and got me a new meal and I ended up eating two biscuits and gravy.

2) You can never hold your baby too much. Cherish every moment, because they do grow up too fast.

Monica from Oklahoma - Mother of one, age 6 and one in the oven

1) The strangest thing that happened during my first pregnancy would be my guy friend who happens to have majored in film is the person I chose to be in the delivery room with me so he could video record, I never thought of explaining that to the drs and nurses. When Lucas came out, they handed him the shears and he ended up cutting Lucas umbilical cord. They thought he was the father and we just went with the flow. He is who actually named my son.

2) My piece of advice for first time mommies would be to truly enjoy their pregnancy, remember everything because it only happens once. The second is different because you know what to expect, but the first pregnancy is magical. And enjoy the baby kicks. Its sooooo special I can't explain. You will miss him kicking inside you once he is born.

Thank you to all the parents that made this blog possible.

You rock.